pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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