five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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