White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
