No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
