I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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