The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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