It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
