what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
