Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
