Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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