We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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