That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
