He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
