just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
