White coat. Heels.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
