lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
