if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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