I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
