Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
