Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
