I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
