toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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