Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
