The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
