how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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