put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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