playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
