dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can I color on your dick again?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
