I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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