Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
