Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm getting married
To pizza
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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