This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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