Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
