was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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