Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
