I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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