i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
