So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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