Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
