Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Farmville is her only friend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
