So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
