i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
