She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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