Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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