so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
