I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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