I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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