In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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