It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
