She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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