Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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