Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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