Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
