You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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